Ferdaus's Rants

2009-01-29T11:12:00.003+08:00

Top ten reason why I stop writing notes on Facebook

Having fever, so doctor gave one day MC.

Plenty of ideas, but mostly up to number five
only.

Not enough money to buy "Facebook-enabled" mobile
phone.

Caught writing notes on Facebook during office
hour by the boss.

The IT department blocked access to social
networking sites, Facebook included.

No one bother to add me as their friend.

No one bother to read my notes.

Wife joined Facebook.

Had to become the family cook.

Busy looking at other people's photos.

2009-01-16T11:53:00.004+08:00

Hujan emas dinegeri orang, hujan batu dinegeri sendiri...

You don't have to wear 10 layers of clothing every time you go out the front door.
You don't have to take off 10 layers of clothing every time coming indoor.
The only place where three (or more) different races with different religion can happily eat and chat on the same table.
The only place where all the people can speak more than one (or two) languages.
You feel hungry at midnight and still be able to go out wearing shorts and 'selipar jepun' to eat at any mamak stall.
You can shop and eat anywhere without fear of being blown up by a bomb.
You send your kids to school without fear someone will randomly shoot at them.
You can easily block people road and houses for 'Kenduri Kahwin' without fear others will sue (saman) you in court.
Here people can spit or throw garbage anywhere they like without fear being fined - not like our neighboring 'fine' country.
You can find the latest movie in pirated DVD at nearby (actually just outside) any 7-Eleven stores.

2009-01-14T14:18:00.008+08:00

Facts About Northport

All the HODs are so stressed out, they either grow white hair or having none at all.
Management principle - "Good things must come cheap, 'Not so' good things must come FREE".
NMB worked like hell to make little money, KN is losing money, while NCB is spending all the money.
Standard greetings to staffs working in shift - "Kerja bila?"
Standard management response when asked about anything - "Waiting for approval".
Standard reply to customers complain - "System down".
Standard excuse if late for meeting - "Stuck at train crossing".
First thing boss ask when he calls on the phone - "Oi! Where ARE you?"
Fastest way to get promotion - join the MIC party.
Common method of implementation - Everything evaluate first. Later test then roll out to users. The best part is, it will be come critical suddenly - and done on a pathetic P3 machine.
Nobody will be sacked, they just get transferred to cold storage departments and assigned boring task until they quit voluntarily.

2009-01-12T14:56:00.009+08:00

Things you cannot explain, but happens anyway.

1. When you desperately want to use something, it will always be missing. The damn thing magically reappears later when you no longer need it.

2. Every time you dedicatedly washed your car in the morning, it'll rain in the evening.

3. Why is it you desperately had to go to the toilet the very moment you step into the car to go to work? Now where the heck is that Chi Kit Teck Aun pills...Refer item 1.

4. The car manage to break down the same time you got your pay/bonus.

5. The car starts to break down the moment you're planning or having intention to sell it off.

6. The exact moment your boss urgently wants the paper work, the computer will crash or the printer got jammed.

7. You set your alarm clock at 6.00 am, but automatically wakes up at 5.00 am. You thought of taking a quick nap, but then overslept to 8.00 am. Late for work? Refer item 3.

8. You carry driving license with you all your life, but that only one time you forget to bring it along, comes the traffic cop and slapped you a saman.

9. You patiently waits for your favorite show/movie on Astro, but 5 minutes into it the heavy rain starts and you got no signal. Until the show ends. Oh, remember the rain? Refer item 2.

10. You will get stuck in traffic jam when you're in a hurry, but the same road somehow clear when you're not.

2009-01-09T11:24:00.008+08:00

Ten signs you're addicted to Facebook

You scramble for old kodak photos and scans them all to add in the photo album.

You finally learn to use Photoshop, because your profile pic is damn ugly.

90% of your email inbox is full of Facebook notification.

You subscribe to Streamyx or 3G to ensure you're always connected, at home or on the go.

You bought new handphone cause the old one does not support Facebook Mobile.

Waking up, before even brushing your teeth, you log into Facebook.

From now on, as soon as you meet someone in real life, you search for them on Facebook.

You created Facebook accounts for your mom and dad, and add them to friend.

You make an effort to write notes on everyday basis.

You think your friends without Facebook account is lame/out-of-date.

2009-01-08T07:56:00.007+08:00

Ten things make you realize you're old (men)

Hair grows everywhere on your face, except the top of your head.
You obtained the complimentary PJK title (perut-jalan-kedepan).
Going to work meaning to endure and survive the everyday traffic jam.
You pay your own income tax, door tax, food tax, service tax, and other taxes.
You knew latest market price for petrol, groceries, meat, chicken, fish, vegetables etc.
You send your children to school, meet with the teacher and said to yourself, "What a hot chick" while having a fantasy about her.
When you look at women, you make an effort to 'accidentally' stare at their chest.
You bought toys for your children and ends up playing it yourself. Okay, except Barbie dolls.
You get irritated when other people using fancy ringtones. IF they want to hear music, listen to radios. Sheesh.
You join Facebook to seek your long-lost school/college/university girl friend.

2009-01-05T21:20:00.001+08:00

Why I hate going to shopping mall.

Parking spot. You have better chance winning a lottery than getting a free parking space (nearest to the entrance, that is).
Parking at the entrance. People are too lazy to walk, again. Everyone is fighting for the space nearest to the main entrance. Disabled people parking space? I mean those with bright blue in color and with a large wheelchair signage. Yes, forget the disabled people too.
Bad trolley/shopping cart. Those are full of litters sometimes, not to mention sticky chewing gum leftovers. Misaligned wheels? Check. Squeaking sound bad enough to cause deaf? Check. Sometimes you thought the trolley was okay, but when its full of stuff, then you realized the wheels are stuck.
Hog the escalator. To some people, the escalator is a place to meet and chat and hog others from walking up the steps. Go to the nearest mamak stall if you want to chit-chat, people.
Aisle traffic jam. Why can't people park their trolley at the side while browsing for stuffs? Some auntie or makcik will meet their long lost friend/cousin/relative/roommate/(fill the blank) and happily chats in the middle of the aisle. Other people (like me) are buying stuffs too - pushing a trolley. Spare some room!
Weighing counter. Some people with no manner nonchalantly cuts queue without remorse. It's like I was a statue for pigeons to crap on. Wish I was living in the olde cowboy times. Bang! End of story.
Express lane are meant to be express. 10 items or less. That is - ten items or less only please. Twenty boxes of the same item should not be counted as one. And they pay with a credit card. On the express lane. They say patience is a virtue. Yeah right.
And after you unload your stuff in, you realized some stupid people left their trolley behind/front of your car at the parking. Sheesh.

2009-01-05T01:35:00.001+08:00

Northport Staffs at they're best

Double parking every morning in front of Northport B to time in before 8 o'clock. Why can't you people park your car nicely and walk to the time reader in peace? Or be early. Sheesh.
Everyone parks at the roadside yellow line. Why is it so hard to park in a proper spot and walk a bit to your office? Everyone is so lazy to walk they would park their car beside their workstation if they're allowed to do so I believe. Another Sheesh.
Sneak out for breakfast. It's official that most customers aware nobody will pick up their calls between 9.30 am until 10.30 am. If you need to sneak out - don't let the office be empty. And yes, they go all out in a bunch.
Super-tight, overbearing, cost-control manager freaks. They think every penny (or ringgit) the company spends, comes out of their own pocket and act like they own the company. Oh, by the way - this is a public-listed company. We're not simply submitting
Out-sourcing culture. Enough said. I can't think of anything haven't yet out-sourced by the company, can you? By the way, no other part of the world the out-sourced contractor behave like *they* are the customer/king - except here. Enter the political ring.
Lightning-fast spread of news, not to mention rumors? We knew about this person/that person scandal or affairs, we knew management decision before official announcement was made. We even knew the year end bonuses before the board declares it.
Job description sucks. You probably doing things outside your job score anyway now. First, they asked you to assist. Second, they asked you to attend meeting on behalf. Suddenly, it became your baby. Oh yes, you're not getting paid for taking responsibility out of it too. The best part (or the worse?), someone is taking a good name for the things you did.
Rush hour back. Can't really complain much about it, we all go back at 5 anyway. Well then, see you tomorrow at work (until I retire, resigned, quit or die whichever comes first).

2006-08-25T10:15:00.000+08:00

Lagu Yang Susah Nak Cari.

Pagi ni dengar kat radio Selangor FM. DJ Zainal cerita-cerita tentang sejarah kemerdekaan. Tentang seorang isteri pegawai daerah di Rembau yang bersungguh-sungguh menentang kewujudan Malayan Union.

Tetiba pulak teringat nak cari lagu Zubir Ali - Balada Seorang Gadis Kecil. Bila sampai ofis, mulalah cari kat internet, tapi tak jumpa juga. Nasib baik jumpa lirik kat blog. Terus taruk link disebelah nun. Bila cakap pasal lagu yang sedih-sedih ni, teringat juga satu lagu oleh Kembara - Impian Seorang Nelayan.

Impian Seorang Nelayan

Burung camar hinggap dijejari
Seorang nelayan sedang bermimpi
Mimpi tentang duyung.. Mimpi tentang untung
Bibit hanyut dibawa ombak Laut Cina Selatan

Dalam mimpi berkata sang duyung
Wahai nelayan kau anak laut
Disini tempatmu disini rezekimu
Pengorbanan yang kau lakukan... Ada balasannya

Mega mendung.. Laut pun bergoncang
Nelayan tersentak hidup tersesat haluan
Sang mentari terlindung... Pantai tak kelihatan
Tawar kau jalan akhirnya..

Dalam pondok kecil beratap rumbia
Seorang ibu memandang hari muka
Sambil ia menyusukan bayi yang kehausan
Ufuk timur hilang dari pandangan

Wahai anak yang sedang menangis
Mungkin kini engkau tak mengerti
Bila kau dewasa dan pandai nanti
Pengorbanan ayahmu sayang jangan kau lupakan

Lagu ni nasib baik jumpa. Ada satu site tu dapat juga download, walaupun bitrate nya tak berapa bagus. Kira macam record dari radio la.

2006-07-19T09:06:00.000+08:00

Malaysians at they’re best.

Malaysians loathes and despise queuing up, because we are simply the most impatient people on the face of the earth.
Malaysians are hungry and starving multitude of crowd. Malaysian will definitely turn up to a free ‘makan’ feast - invited or not, carrying plastic bags in their pockets (some will bring a Tupperware too) while gobbling up everything they can and yes – without queuing up.
Malaysians are full of hypocrites. Public roads will be left to deteriorate to a point suitable only for off-road vehicle, then suddenly resurfaced overnight comparable to a race track perfection – just because a high profile VIP (Cabinet Ministers, Sultans etc.) will be visiting the area.
On the above subject as well, garbage cans and litters are left for months producing suitable breeding ground for disease carrying vectors – will magically tidied up to squeaky clean due to upcoming events supposedly to be attended by the above-mentioned high profile VIP.
Malaysians are a ‘last-minute’ nation. Admit it, we will only do EVERYTHING, and I really mean everything, within the last minute.
Malaysians drivers are born racing freaks. Once they get a hold of any type of vehicle, and hit the road – no more Mr. Nice Guy. And yes, we are famous for road bullying.
Malaysians are the most unhygienic nation. Just take a walk to a nearby road-side stall, to your nearest garbage disposal area, to your local government hospital for that matter – take a deep breath. People will spit all over the place, throw trash everywhere except the garbage bin, and have their dinner at a stall neighboring nearby drainage system similar to a toxic waste fumes.

2006-07-18T15:16:00.000+08:00

Top Ten reasons why I ashamed of being a Malaysian (driver).

All Malaysians men and women have split personalities. You might not realized it, and foreign tourist claims Malaysians are the most hospitable, kind, generous and welcoming people but when Malaysians step into their vehicle and start the engine, they will be the most obnoxious, selfish, ignorant, careless human being in the face of the earth.

Malaysians are color blind. Red lights mean nothing to them, and they will cross the road whenever they like.
Malaysians doesn’t know how to use the signal light to change lanes, taking over and turning left or right at a junction. Car manufacturers in Malaysia should have the signal switch installed as an optional accessories.
Malaysians thinks they have god-given rights to park anywhere they like, especially during picking up their children at school and ‘pasar malam’ or night markets. Double-park and triple-parking is a common sight.
Malaysians will throw anything and everything on the road while driving. Malaysians thinks while inside their vehicle, the world outside is their own personal garbage bin.
Malaysians will never obey road signs – no entry, one-way road, speed limits, stop signs have absolutely no meanings to them.
Malaysians will drive very close to your rear, in fact so near that they can use your rear-view mirror to comb their hair doesn’t matter in which speed they’re driving, very fast or fast (there’s no ‘slow’ in Malaysians dictionary).
Malaysians will strangely however, slow down to a crawl which will definitely cause heavy traffic jam lengthening a few kilometers just to look at roadside crash or accidents, broken down vehicles, and pretty girls.
Malaysians will use the hazard lights on all occasions. Weddings, funerals and heavy rains are few examples of such occasions. Use your own imaginations when turning on the hazard lights.
Malaysians highways and roadways did not have any emergency lanes. The left-side lanes are also considered fast lanes. Emergency vehicles such as ambulance and fire engines will have to queue up in the traffic jam like everybody else.
Malaysians will remarkably turn into law-abiding angels with a bright halo on their head only if there’s a traffic policeman standing at road junctions or when a police patrol car passes by.