Top ten reason why I stop writing notes on Facebook

1. Having fever, so doctor gave one day MC.




2. Plenty of ideas, but mostly up to number five
   only.




3. Not enough money to buy "Facebook-enabled" mobile
   phone.




4. Caught writing notes on Facebook during office
   hour by the boss.




5. The IT department blocked access to social
   networking sites, Facebook included.




6. No one bother to add me as their friend.




7. No one bother to read my notes.




8. Wife joined Facebook.




9. Had to become the family cook.




10. Busy looking at other people's photos.

Hujan emas dinegeri orang, hujan batu dinegeri sendiri...

1. You don't have to wear 10 layers of clothing every time you go out the front door.
   
   

2. You don't have to take off 10 layers of clothing every time coming indoor.
   
   

3. The only place where three (or more) different races with different religion can happily eat and chat on the same table.
   
   

4. The only place where all the people can speak more than one (or two) languages.
   
   

5. You feel hungry at midnight and still be able to go out wearing shorts and 'selipar jepun' to eat at any mamak stall.
   
   

6. You can shop and eat anywhere without fear of being blown up by a bomb.
   
   

7. You send your kids to school without fear someone will randomly shoot at them.
   
   

8. You can easily block people road and houses for 'Kenduri Kahwin' without fear others will sue (saman) you in court.
   
   

9. Here people can spit or throw garbage anywhere they like without fear being fined - not like our neighboring 'fine' country.
   
   

10. You can find the latest movie in pirated DVD at nearby (actually just outside) any 7-Eleven stores.
    
    

Facts About Northport

1. All the HODs are so stressed out, they either grow white hair or having none at all.
   

2. Management principle - "Good things must come cheap, 'Not so' good things must come FREE".
   

3. NMB worked like hell to make little money, KN is losing money, while NCB is spending all the money.
   

4. Standard greetings to staffs working in shift - "Kerja bila?"
   

5. Standard management response when asked about anything - "Waiting for approval".
   

6. Standard reply to customers complain - "System down".
   

7. Standard excuse if late for meeting - "Stuck at train crossing".
   

8. First thing boss ask when he calls on the phone - "Oi! Where ARE you?"
   

9. Fastest way to get promotion - join the MIC party.
   

10. Common method of implementation - Everything evaluate first. Later test then roll out to users. The best part is, it will be come critical suddenly - and done on a pathetic P3 machine.
    

11. Nobody will be sacked, they just get transferred to cold storage departments and assigned boring task until they quit voluntarily.
    

Things you cannot explain, but happens anyway.

1. When you desperately want to use something, it will always be missing. The damn thing magically reappears later when you no longer need it.

2. Every time you dedicatedly washed your car in the morning, it'll rain in the evening.

3. Why is it you desperately had to go to the toilet the very moment you step into the car to go to work? Now where the heck is that Chi Kit Teck Aun pills...Refer item 1.

4. The car manage to break down the same time you got your pay/bonus.

5. The car starts to break down the moment you're planning or having intention to sell it off.

6. The exact moment your boss urgently wants the paper work, the computer will crash or the printer got jammed.

7. You set your alarm clock at 6.00 am, but automatically wakes up at 5.00 am. You thought of taking a quick nap, but then overslept to 8.00 am. Late for work? Refer item 3.

8. You carry driving license with you all your life, but that only one time you forget to bring it along, comes the traffic cop and slapped you a saman.

9. You patiently waits for your favorite show/movie on Astro, but 5 minutes into it the heavy rain starts and you got no signal. Until the show ends. Oh, remember the rain? Refer item 2.

10. You will get stuck in traffic jam when you're in a hurry, but the same road somehow clear when you're not.

Ten signs you're addicted to Facebook

1. You scramble for old kodak photos and scans them all to add in the photo album.


2. You finally learn to use Photoshop, because your profile pic is damn ugly.


3. 90% of your email inbox is full of Facebook notification.


4. You subscribe to Streamyx or 3G to ensure you're always connected, at home or on the go.


5. You bought new handphone cause the old one does not support Facebook Mobile.


6. Waking up, before even brushing your teeth, you log into Facebook.


7. From now on, as soon as you meet someone in real life, you search for them on Facebook.


8. You created Facebook accounts for your mom and dad, and add them to friend.


9. You make an effort to write notes on everyday basis.


10. You think your friends without Facebook account is lame/out-of-date.

Ten things make you realize you're old (men)

1. Hair grows everywhere on your face, except the top of your head.

2. You obtained the complimentary PJK title (perut-jalan-kedepan).

3. Going to work meaning to endure and survive the everyday traffic jam.

4. You pay your own income tax, door tax, food tax, service tax, and other taxes.

5. You knew latest market price for petrol, groceries, meat, chicken, fish, vegetables etc.

6. You send your children to school, meet with the teacher and said to yourself, "What a hot chick" while having a fantasy about her.

7. When you look at women, you make an effort to 'accidentally' stare at their chest.

8. You bought toys for your children and ends up playing it yourself. Okay, except Barbie dolls.

9. You get irritated when other people using fancy ringtones. IF they want to hear music, listen to radios. Sheesh.

10. You join Facebook to seek your long-lost school/college/university girl friend.

Why I hate going to shopping mall.

1. Parking spot. You have better chance winning a lottery than getting a free parking space (nearest to the entrance, that is).

2. Parking at the entrance. People are too lazy to walk, again. Everyone is fighting for the space nearest to the main entrance. Disabled people parking space? I mean those with bright blue in color and with a large wheelchair signage. Yes, forget the disabled people too.

3. Bad trolley/shopping cart. Those are full of litters sometimes, not to mention sticky chewing gum leftovers. Misaligned wheels? Check. Squeaking sound bad enough to cause deaf? Check. Sometimes you thought the trolley was okay, but when its full of stuff, then you realized the wheels are stuck.

4. Hog the escalator. To some people, the escalator is a place to meet and chat and hog others from walking up the steps. Go to the nearest mamak stall if you want to chit-chat, people.

5. Aisle traffic jam. Why can't people park their trolley at the side while browsing for stuffs? Some auntie or makcik will meet their long lost friend/cousin/relative/roommate/(fill the blank) and happily chats in the middle of the aisle. Other people (like me) are buying stuffs too - pushing a trolley. Spare some room!

6. Weighing counter. Some people with no manner nonchalantly cuts queue without remorse. It's like I was a statue for pigeons to crap on. Wish I was living in the olde cowboy times. Bang! End of story.

7. Express lane are meant to be express. 10 items or less. That is - ten items or less only please. Twenty boxes of the same item should not be counted as one. And they pay with a credit card. On the express lane. They say patience is a virtue. Yeah right.

8. And after you unload your stuff in, you realized some stupid people left their trolley behind/front of your car at the parking. Sheesh.

Northport Staffs at they're best

1. Double parking every morning in front of Northport B to time in before 8 o'clock. Why can't you people park your car nicely and walk to the time reader in peace? Or be early. Sheesh.
2. Everyone parks at the roadside yellow line. Why is it so hard to park in a proper spot and walk a bit to your office? Everyone is so lazy to walk they would park their car beside their workstation if they're allowed to do so I believe. Another Sheesh.
3. Sneak out for breakfast. It's official that most customers aware nobody will pick up their calls between 9.30 am until 10.30 am. If you need to sneak out - don't let the office be empty. And yes, they go all out in a bunch.
4. Super-tight, overbearing, cost-control manager freaks. They think every penny (or ringgit) the company spends, comes out of their own pocket and act like they own the company. Oh, by the way - this is a public-listed company. We're not simply submitting
5. Out-sourcing culture. Enough said. I can't think of anything haven't yet out-sourced by the company, can you? By the way, no other part of the world the out-sourced contractor behave like *they* are the customer/king - except here. Enter the political ring.
6. Lightning-fast spread of news, not to mention rumors? We knew about this person/that person scandal or affairs, we knew management decision before official announcement was made. We even knew the year end bonuses before the board declares it.
7. Job description sucks. You probably doing things outside your job score anyway now. First, they asked you to assist. Second, they asked you to attend meeting on behalf. Suddenly, it became your baby. Oh yes, you're not getting paid for taking responsibility out of it too. The best part (or the worse?), someone is taking a good name for the things you did.
8. Rush hour back. Can't really complain much about it, we all go back at 5 anyway. Well then, see you tomorrow at work (until I retire, resigned, quit or die whichever comes first).